did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
