i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize