i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
