I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
