did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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