Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
