I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
