Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
