I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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