I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Non-Jews are for practice
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
