dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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