dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
