Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Damn victory sex feels great
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
