Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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