HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize