also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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