Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
