3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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