So drunk its hurt
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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