I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I want to fling myself into the sun
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize