how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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