Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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