Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
