i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
