i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
