Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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