Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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