Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
