good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
