mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
