(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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