my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
and she was petting her beer can
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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