Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Randomize
