I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize