i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
