dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We have so much sex to catch up on
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
