it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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