sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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