yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
