Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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