I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
