dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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