I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
