I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
