I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have fence marks all over my body
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
