My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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