I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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