I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
