apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
