remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
