Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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