The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
