so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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