You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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