In the future we'll all be gay
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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