just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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