we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
