But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
