you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
